Thoughts While I Was On The West Coast...

That must mean something if I didn't cry when I leave. Not that I didn't love it, cause I did, very much. It felt like a different kind of home. There was so much of it that felt right. But then again, it felt right like a one night stand. You know what you're getting yourself into, enjoy the moment you have with it, and then in the morning look at it and know that you're better than that. But I could see myself falling in love with any of those bars. I can see myself dancing on that stage and meeting people for dinner.

There is just something that I can't shake about New York. It's how, for some reason, I always feel like I'm waiting for some sort of secret. And I'm madly in love with the people that I've met. They're a good group of kids and I feel like a part of something.

I get so lost sometimes it's hilarious.One thought leading to the another, and next thing you know I've been smiling and staring into space for twenty minutes.

This song (Golden Years. David Bowie.) for sure could be my song. I see a third or fourth date, just drinking and a jukebox. A summer night would be cute. We're gross but, who cares cause we aren't the only ones. Hips, shoulders, arms, and then some how we're around one another in a back booth. We hold off on kissing for as long as we can, although we seem to always cave early on in the game.

We're been doing drugs, whatever our little hearts desire. We've been drinking. It started out as a group and then in the early morning it's just us, and that's ok. We some how end up at a packed dance club. We've never been before and it kinda scares us but he takes my hand and we go deeper. There are people everywhere, dancing like it's their last night on earth. I'll start dancing at first by myself and then I'll notice him just watching, which makes me walk over, kiss him once and then we're dancing together.

With a group of friends at a bar, drunk as ever. One of those songs I've got to perform along. Everyone knows they have a part, but I lead of course. It's one of those moments where something big happens at the end. They kiss for the first time, he gets on one knee, the friends make up. I like the one where the two finally kiss for the first time. Those moments are my favorite.

With your girlfriends. On a night that's all about you. You're having you're silly girl drinks and flirting with boys just to giggle and run away. Of course a boy will latch on and you won't be able to shake him. He'll keep a safe distance because he knows that an angry gaggle of girls can do.

It's amazing how this song can relate to everyone no matter what. We've all had that one person that drove us crazy and then although we're glad they're one they are still there with us.

This one is trying to prove a point. They're trying to get the other to relax or loosen up. The other is going to dance around the bar singing all the words that they know. They want you to see that no matter how hard it looks or feels like at the moment, it's gonna get better and be totally worth it. Promise they say.

"Well then I'll wait, for as long as it takes."
-It's nice to say and real nice to hear, but what if that isn't enough? What if the moment has passed or even more heartbreaking, they don't feel the same? Then what? You've got either someone holding their breath for you or you putting your life on pause for something that will never play. But how do they know, that this is what they are suppose to be doing? How are they so sure? That's what bothers me the most, the knowing part. I seem to know nothing, and most of the time that's fine by me, I love being surprised. But will I ever know? I pray that there will be the light blub that goes off or that feeling in my gut. I'll know it, I'm sure I will.

I'm back, what wants to have a drink?