Things That Make Me Smile...

Some guy wrote some "rules" about waiting tables, and then I wrote something.

Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
Even if that moment is 45 minutes after they arrive.

Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
Unless he's an agent.

Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, "We only have two lobsters left." Even if there are only two lobsters left.
Sell the lobsters even when they're gone.

Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handle.
Unless you have no hands and have to use your mouth.

When you ask, "How's everything?" or "How was the meal?" listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
Even if it's their personal relationships, fix fix fix!

Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
Unless the special is "Creepy chicken with runny potatoes"

Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
Hire someone to be the official glass inspector.

Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
Because that's where we keep the wine, in a dust dirt bin.

Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
Or they were full? Being full is wrong.

Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them, or dust them.
Even if there are killer bees or a dust storm.

Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
Open your eyes when walking.

Do not eat or drink in plain view of guest.
Just sit down with them.

Never say, "Good choice," implying that other choices are bad.
"Good choice sir, everyone else is dumb," Will work.

Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It is irrelevant.
Unless they're writing your biography, then it's relevant.

Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
Unless Jesus is there, obviously.

Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for ore, remember or consult the order.
Because you are a server and a mind reader.

Do not let guests double order unintentionally, remind the guest who orders ratatouille that zucchini comes with the entree.
Unless they love zucchini. Zucchini forever.

Never blame the chef or the busboy or the hostess or the weather for anything that goes wrong. Just make it right.
"Yes this zombie attack is annoying but your mac and cheese is on its way out."

Specials, spoken and printed, should always have prices.
We want people to know how much money their wasting.

Do not reach across one guest to serve another.
Sitting in the corner? Hope you like being hungry.

Never stack the plates on the table. They make a racket. Shhhh.
You are obviously working in a library.

Do not disappear.
Unless you're a magician, then it's cool.

If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damage you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spot on the guest.
Unless they ask for help, then touch them everywhere, wet or not.

If a few people signal for the check, find a neutral place on the table to leave it.
Just throw it in the air and let it land on the table.

If someone is getting agitated or effusive on a cellphone, politely suggest he keep it down or move away from other guests, and get the fuck out.

Never play a radio station with commercials or news or talking of any kind.
Because world events are stupid.

Do not play an entire CD of any artist. If someone doesn't like Frightened Rabbit or Michael Buble, you have just ruined a meal.
Unless it is a Michael Buble themed restaurant.

Guests, like servers, come in all packages. Show a "good table"  your appreciation with a free glass of port, a plate of biscotti or something else management approves.
Just give away free shit, who really cares?

Otherwise I've had another lovely day off full of packing, cleaning, and Homeland watching. I'm so hooked right now. Can we move already :)

In A Certain State Of Mind...

I sound like a broken record, but for as long as I can remember I have wanted to live in New York. Being there for family functions, reading about it in books, seeing it in movies, and watching in Saturday Night Live. There was just something about it, that I felt an over powering need to be there. But when should I go, how would I get there? These were all things I thought about all through middle and high school. But then of course they were all just huge dreams that I thought every kid had, some want to travel the world, some want to explore the deep sea, and I just wanted to be in New York.

I graduated high school and headed to Tallahassee. I never thought that I would experience as much as I would in college and wouldn't trade anything for it in the world. I met some of my now best friends and it gave me so much to think about in what I'd want to do with my future. But it was still there, the little voice at the back of my head, just hinting about New York. Saying that I could and would be happy in Florida, everything I love is here, I could have the most amazing life, but what about New York? I think you could be happy in New York too.

I graduated college and finished out the summer in Tallahassee and decided to move home. Might as well right? I didn't have any plans, my parents were ok with me coming home, and I'm not gonna lie, free rent and food seemed like a great idea. So that's what I did for a year. I loved living at home, seeing my family everyday, and working part time at a little mom and pops pizza joint being a waitress. The voice started to get a bit louder when I saw that a friend of mine was up and living in New York, just visit her, it said, see what she's doing. So I did visit, and that week blew my mind. It was everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. I cried when I left. I had never felt that way about a place before (ok that's a lie, I still to this day cry every time I leave Virginia) and it scared me how much I loved it right away. I came home and went right back into my life, but now the voice was all I was listening too. It was loud and right. I had to go back and do it all over again. I went back 2 more times, but the end of the third trip I told my friend, how do you feel about me moving up and us going a place together? She was all about it, so it was decided, I was moving in September.

When I came home, I told my parents about it and they said alright, but I feel like they didn't think I was serious. How will she pay for anything, where will she live? But I was so serious and started making all the plans. I put in my notice at work, and whatever free time I had I put towards looking for a job. I even changed my number to a New York number so it would make me look more local.

And then the day came. It was a Sunday and I had an afternoon flight, so I was able to spend the day with my family and ease into this whole new life. I'll never forget my mom and sister as I hugged them good bye. My dad took me to the airport, helped me unload a few things, wished me luck, kissed me good bye and I walked away. I walked right to the bathroom and cried. For those few minutes I was terrified, I had no idea what I was doing. I was moving to New York with $1,500, no job and sharing a room with a friend. I was going to know exactly one person, why did I think I could do this? But then I stopped crying, inhaled deeply, and smiled. Isn't this exactly what I wanted? Isn't this what I've been dreaming about since forever? I got on that plane and that was it.

And here I am, exactly one year later, and I still love it like it's my first day. Living in Brooklyn and knowing that this is where my mom started her tiny life, I love it. I have a job that, although I don't love it everyday, I love the people that I've been given the chance to meet and work with. I have learned so much about how differently people can live. I have heard so many stories, good and bad. I have experienced so much in this short year then I ever thought I would, and right now wouldn't trade it for the world.

I miss my family everyday, I think about them all the time. But I want to thank them for letting me do this, for letting me go and do something simply fantastic. I can feel the love all the way up here from so many people, rooting for me, wanting me to have the time of my life, and to just live it. I don't know what I'd do without them.

I'm going to keep writing, I'm going to keep talking to people, keep dancing, keep smiling, and sooner or later it's gonna work out. It's only been a year silly, I've got so much time to be something spectacular.

:)

Scraps Of Thoughts At Work...

She worked hard, tired her best, and never gave up, but it was still there. The thought at the back of their minds of who she once was, and not who she'd become. But she couldn't help but smile, because while they were dwelling on her past she was busting down walls today.

~

And when they ask us where we've been, we'll tell them the truth. And when they stare back with shock all over their faces, we'll smile. And while they demand to know the details and how it all began, we'll tell them, leaving out nothing because we'd never want to disappoint. And they'll be happy for us and we, well, we'll continue to smile.

~

She wouldn't let him hold her hand. Hand holding was the first sign of forever, and when she says forever she means until something better comes along. She was scared and hated being at someone else's whim. So for now she'll keep her hands deep in her pockets or else up in the air, cause that's where they are when she's dancing.

~

You're never gonna remember how much you made those nights, but you're always gonna remember what if felt like waiting on that platform.

~

They never waited and wondered about the same things. He's allowed to be somewhere else and she's allowed to hurt. he's never gonna look her in the eye and tell her how he feels. She's never gonna know if she was good enough.

~

The train is never fast enough and she can never catch her breath. She's not sure if she wants to. He's never doing enough and yet he's still bored, because he's not doing the right things.