25 And Counting...

I never really thought about it. It happened, the moment passed and then we were back to normal. And I was glad, he makes me laugh and so mad at the same time. But when we both chill out we're a pretty good team.

Thank goodness for him. I don't know what I'd do without him. What an honest to the heart good person, always ready to have a good time but knows the limits.

Comfortable, that's how I'd like to describe us. Don't go out of our way for conversation but can talk to one another. He's so interesting that's why I linger.

Outta control always, but knows when to get work done. Passionate that's how I feel around him.

I could go on forever about you, but I can't and I won't. I deserve and need more, things I know you can't give me. And it's not your fault or mine. It's just life I suppose.

-

He's the one who thinks he's beat the odds. She's been there since the beginning and understands the life. She thinks she's ready for this forever. He thinks this is the real deal, he can have his cake and eat it too. But then he met another girl that makes him feel alive. When she finds out, what she thought she could handle she can't and punks out. He can't believe he's just another disaster on the road.

He's the one that's always on the move. He knows exactly what he signed up for and is ready to play every card he has. He really does like everyone he meets and would really love to call them, but that would cut into his time with the next bunch. But he'd like to meet someone someday. He just wasn't sure if that someday would ever come.

He was ok with being left alone. He had a quiet life, a great girl back home, and got to do what he loved every night. but he was alone and didn't know how much longer he thought he could do this.

He was quiet in general. He didn't really know how to handle people. Girls always wanted to talk to him, and after breaking up with his girlfriend he wasn't sure if he could do this dating thing again. He was awkward and shy. He knows he can do this talking to girls thing but he wasn't sure if he'd ever find the right girl.

-

Complicated. That's how everything feels right now. Why though, what's really wrong? Seeing to much of him, that could be one part of it. It was better just wondering about his life and what went on then actually knowing about it. I've just got to accept that he's actually happy and that Sunday was a fluke. That he just needed a drinking buddy. That maybe he's trying out this friends with girls thing.

Snap out of it sister, it's nothing.

Ruined. That's how I also feel right now. Like those pages, all stuck together with the chance of ripping, I feel like it's only a matter of time before the rain gets harder and I just tear. I don't wanna tear. I don't wanna have that fear lurking at the back of my mind.

-

Not far, that's what it is. What do you want? You feed us wine and give us free food, but what is it that you want, there's got to be something. I can see it going a few ways. He's a gross guy and thinks something will happen with the number three in it. He's into one of us and just wants the other to see that he's a good guy. He's trying to have more gal pals, plain and simple.

But the dream I have is that everyone bails and it's just us two. But of course it's just the dream.

He shares nothing and that's not fair, he can't get us hammered and then have stories to use against us. Lame.

I bet he doesn't want to share, afraid that if he does he'll say what he actually feels.

Two peas in the pod.

Mama Bear. That's how I am sometimes.

-

There had to be something. After the rumors she heard, she had to know there was something going on. But who cares if she believed it, who cares if she knew. What did it matter? But then they sat and talked, laughed, and smiled. If they didn't want to be somewhere, they'd leave. Yet they were there.

Just tell me that I'm stupid for thinking this way. Tell me that it doesn't matter.

Cause I'm gonna make this my thing. I'm gonna make you see me.

I'm sorry you dream of me at night. I'm sorry that you have to close your eyes to see the light.

I'm in love with you.

Throwback.

There was no need to feel bad. She always had a good time. She was always looking for the next good time. She was never sad, she knew what she was getting into. She knew what they did for a living and it didn't phase her. She was ok with the once a year thing. It gave her a chance to fall in love more than once. People didn't understand. They didn't understand that it was the music that made her feel this way. It was the outer body experience they seemed to have every time they were on stage. She fell hard for boys who craved attention and applause. She craved the five minutes he had to spare for her. She craved the asking to stay until they loaded the van. She craved the one question that mattered, "Where are you staying tonight?"