13 And Counting...

I have never in my life meet anyone that is as positive as me. I'm not bragging or complaining, it's just a fact. Its very rare that I'm in an upset mood, visibly angry, or just over all down with life. I don't get it. There are so many things in life to be excited about, to be happy about, and to just be amazed with. I have a rule, never go to bed angry. Ever. While your single, while you're in a relationship, just ever.Going to bed angry will lead to bad dreams, you'll wake up in a panic mood and just irritable. You're day will be filled with thoughts about why you're in such a bad mood. And then, again, you'll go to bed with another heavy heart.

I go to bed listening to my favorite radio station, or with my Christmas lights on. I go to bed a little bit drunk, laughing about what happened that day. I go to bed thinking about my family and friends and about how lucky I am to be me. I'm so self centered, I'm so obsessed with me and how lovely my life is. I'm so lucky, beyond lucky to have just a wonderful thing going on.

When I was little I didn't know anything but chaos. Not bad chaos, just chaos. Good and bad. I am one of 18 cousins on my moms side, family events were always out of control and I loved every single second of it. I didn't have one mom then, I had 6 (Nuala, Katie, Mary, Celine, Siobhan, Kim.) but I did have only one grandmother. To me she was all knowing, she did no wrong, she had all the answers and knew how to fix any problem. She could make any meal, she knew when we all had lied, and she knew how to fix any boo-boo. With all the chaos that we had, she knew how to bring it all in and make all of us smile. She knew how to bring it all together.

I thought I was the luckiest thing alive when she came to live with us in Virginia. Having someone like her in the house, making us amazing things (Halloween costumes, tasty dinners) someone taking us places (summer camp, Dairy Queen) And just another someone to teach us life lessons.

She picked us up from summer camp one time, and took my sister and I to Dairy Queen. We saved change all the time and treated ourselves when we had reached a goal of ice cream. As we were walking to our table with our treats, she had a moment of hopelessness where she almost fell while trying to help my sister and I to a table. A huge man, covered in tattoos, crazy hair all of over the place, and what would be scary to most, was standing behind her and was able to help her and walk with her to the table. He sat her down, smiled at us, and told us to have a good time. He kept smiling while he walked out with his own treat. My Nanny smiled and said that people surprise you all the time, that you can never judge anyone because you never know when you're gonna need help, and just a moment of kindness. I never forgot that. Ever. Even 13 years later.

So. Here we are. 13 years. And I think about her all the time. I think about how amazing she was to me and my family. I think about how conscious I am to make her proud.  I think about how grateful I am to have such an amazing mom, who shows me everyday what it's like to be an amazing woman.

I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I just know that I must be something that makes me happy because that is what everyone wants for me. I am living in New York. I am taking improv classes at the only accredited improv school in the world. I am loving every single second of my life right now.

And I am just glorious.

And that's all.

Happy December 5th. Good day to my Nanny and everyone who has ever known her.

I'm the luckiest thing to ever walk around Brooklyn. Fact.

Happiness is knowing to I have the support system of so many people. Know that none of you are taken for granted. I think about you all, all the time.

Love me like I love me some goodies.